


Golden Showers Bring May Flowers

by Mauser_Frau



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: As you do, Biting, Car Sex, Comedy, Consensual Adult Incest, Drug Use, F/M, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, PIV Sex, Piss, Smut, Troy's giant cock, Troyreen, Twincest, Tyreen yelling a lot, Watersports, oh and some guy gets eaten at the end, technically has a plot, tiny bit of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:28:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28454625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mauser_Frau/pseuds/Mauser_Frau
Summary: Troy and Tyreen have a somewhat unintentional conversation with their weed dealer Mishka.  Topics include their sex life and how bad Tyreen has to pee.Part of an ongoing series of stories wherein Tyreen pees on a thing she shouldn't and that thing is probably Troy.
Relationships: Troy Calypso/Tyreen Calypso
Kudos: 7





	Golden Showers Bring May Flowers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DramaticDino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramaticDino/gifts).



“So you two finally fucked. I feel like I’ve been sitting around waiting for the apocalypse, and now that it’s here?” Mishka sighed, stretching out on her seat and taking a deep drag from a joint. “It’s just Tuesday.”  _ Tuesday _ came with a rush of blue smoke.

“I feel this.” Troy nodded, sipping at said smoke rather than sparking up for himself. He was though in the midst of a rather indolent slouch and so disinclined to move. “You waited too long. The excitement is gone. And it’s just. Yeah.”

Tyreen growled, her hands tightening on her elbows where she’d crossed her arms. “You two are mocking me.”

Mishka and Troy raised eyebrows to one another, but offered no affirmation. Mishka in fact went right on with her metaphor. “Anyway, now that the world’s over…” 

“…are you taking your shit and going home?”

“What? No? My lab has literally grown roots at this point.” She had a drawling laugh in the meantime. “I’m going to kick back and watch the nuclear blast destroy the countryside.”

Troy nodded, and he leaned around each of the women in turn to glance out of the Technical’s windows. Presently, there was still rain out there; soppy desert and stopped convoy as far as any eyes could see.

Tyreen toed his shin.

Mishka went on, drama in her voice. “And consume all life on Pandora with a glorious  _ fwoosh _ .”

“Fwoosh,” Troy echoed. 

“Some say the world will end in fire and some say ice and I made out betting the Calypso Twins fucking.”

“Now you’re  _ really _ rubbing it in,” grumbled Tyreen who was mostly of the mind that nuclear explosions went  _ kaboom _ and not  _ fwoosh _ . Fwoosh was more of a getting coaxed across the sheets kind of sound. Hey, she knew that now.

“And notice how you’re suddenly chill enough to tolerate it,” said Mishka. She reached over Troy’s lap and gestured a cheek pinch.

The whole scenario amused Troy. He gave something of a golf clap. “Well, props to the weed.”

“I didn’t mean  _ you  _ in that ‘you’.”

That was about when Tyreen sat back, screwing her hips against the seat as though rubbing out a cigarette butt with her ass. She crossed her arms harder, until her clothing rasped. And she scowled, deeply so.

Which was really very cute given the delicacy of her features verses the hickies still clinging to her neck, worthy of another cheek pinch impersonation for sure.

Though Mishka went with something else for the occasion, her smile turning warm and easy. “We should talk more. So, how’s your sex life?”

“I will eat the eye you have left with a spoon and piss in your eye socket.”

“Sounds like a nice view. And you? I do mean you-you this time.”

Troy gave a thumbs up with his prosthetic, the thing clanking as he lifted his hand. “Good. Maybe we shouldn’t talk about piss when it’s raining this hard.” He made a sweeping gesture to the window.

Everyone in the back of the Technical looked out this time. It was hard not to. The rain had started off impressive. It was now hemorrhage, a swimming pool crashing downwards by the instant. The glass between them and it held rivulets compounding rivulets. 

“I can’t believe we’re still stopped,” groaned Tyreen. She shoved out of her seat and pounded on the partition between them and the driver. This rolled down. “Hey, Catass or whatever you said your name was. What’s the hold up?”

The Psycho at the wheel broke into a mournful wail. “I can’t see the holdup from here, God Queen. Forgive me for I am weak. Weak and blind.” He wept, pressing his hands to the wheel to cry about blood moons and spleen sandwiches.

Mishka, having gotten a good look at him, broke away from taking another puff to say, “Please tell me he’s not actually blind.”

“I didn’t check,” said Troy. “You know, I figure as long as they can get into the driver’s seat and tolerate the ambient noise.”

Tyreen pounced on him. Her hand knotted into his coat. “I am  _ not  _ ambient noise.”

“I meant the engine.” He pointed downwards, which wasn’t even kind of where the engine happened to go in a Technical. “This baby could use a tune up. Or a tune down. You know, sometimes we get these things overclocked and they kinda  _ fwoosh _ .”

“Nobody is allowed to say fwoosh until we get to the broadcast center!”

Her brother had some thoughts on the issue. At the last intake of breath, he chose not to share them, instead simpering up at her.

Mishka smiled right along. She said, “You have to pee, don’t you?”

“Shut up!” As she swung her fist, Tyreen’s voice cracked.

“You’ve had to for the last half hour. I’ve been trying to distract you.”

“It’s not working.”

“Oh, just pee in the cup like you used to,” Troy suggested.

Shortly, if anything else went  _ fwoosh _ , that was Tyreen’s temper, or so her shuddering, teeth-clenching growl suggested.

Mishka meanwhile got another toke in, somewhere amidst her obvious interest.

And Troy leaned towards her over the seats, his eyes sparkling and his lips curling as he explained. “We got in…” 

“Troy, shut up!” Tyreen shouted. 

“…trouble with bandits a few times and we’d be trying to outrun ‘em and you can’t exactly…” 

“STOP.”

“…to take a piss when you’re driving away at top speed trying not to die, right?”

“Oh, plus her bladder’s not more than 400mL is it?” Mishka quirked an eyebrow, her eye focusing on Tyreen’s lower stomach.

Then her thighs as she helplessly clenched them together. 

“Tiny little thing. Plus, all that cum-filled uterus in the way.”

The next sound out of Tyreen contained no words. She lunged at Troy, foundering across his body. Her hands seemed to be going for his neck. They never landed. Rather, she dodged to the side at the last possible instant, grappling for his limited edition GigaSlurp car cup, the one that had an old school graffiti-style image of him in the banged up printing. 

Troy stretched his prosthetic out of the way, dangling the thing over Mishka and shaking out the ice. Mishka frowned. He hadn’t even tried to put the ice in her drink. How inconsiderate. 

That time, Tyreen’s hands did make contact with Troy’s neck. “Cup! Now!”

He smiled. Nodded. He really did seem to be dragging it back around where she could reach it.

But Tyreen struggled with her belt. She panted right in his face as he tried to negotiate handing the thing to her. Troy had to tighten his grip. As for his sister… 

She made one last faint squeak of distress. And she pissed. There was no tentative dribbling. She gushed from the start, no room for another drop inside of her. Once the first second had passed, there wasn’t anything else she could do about it. She knelt there on her brother’s lap, her hands around his neck. She pissed all over her panties and his lap and the seat. It soaked them both to an obscene degree. Her bladder might not have held much, but it was more than enough to get them both very wet indeed.

As the spill died down, Tyreen flexed her hips, wringing one more surge out and then nothing, though what hadn’t soaked into Troy’s pants sluiced off of the seat and onto the floor.

She gave a sighing shudder, decompressing into pee shakes, her flush fading and her tongue skimming her lips even as she looked away from the other two, first back to the window, then to the empty cup holder.

And finally to the massive hard-on Troy had sprung.

“The fuck,” she said.

“Umm,” Troy stammered. “You kinda made a really sexy face when you let loose. Heh. It’s also warm and dicks like warm things.”

She leaned into him, sneering with her mouth maybe a finger width from his. “You got it up ‘cause your sister pissed on you. You’re  _ disgusting _ .”

“Takes one to know one, lil miss oh no I shot at that camp of crazies and now I gotta wee.”

“I never said wee or took a piss out the window of a moving car!”

“Eh,” Troy shrugged again. He poked at his erection with his skin hand. “You know, it’s kinda crazy ‘cause I had to piss before and now this happens and like… I wonder if I can piss through it. ‘Cause I still gotta piss.”

“You’ll never get it in the cup at that angle,” Tyreen concluded. “Just fuck me already.”

She leaned in to kiss him, her mouth and her wet folds smacking as she did so.

“It’s fine,” Mishka said to herself. “I’ll read a book.”

“Wait, you have a book?” Troy asked, once he’d come up for air.

“No. But I’ll pretend. Might mop up some of this little accident.”

“Shut up. I’ll…” But if Tyreen meant to gut her on a live scream or leech her dead or give her a raise, Mishka didn’t find out at that particular moment. Reason: Tyreen lost it a little. She flung her arms around Troy and bit him on his mouth. Mishka certainly wouldn’t have called it a kiss. This was hungry and violent and desperate. Laced with gasps. Super wet, just like everything else in the car at that point. Mishka had concerns about her boots, for instance, though boots were very temporary things on Pandora.

The sight of Tyreen left Troy smirking though, his tongue pulling into a fork as he licked off a streak of blood. His or his sister's? He certainly didn’t seem to care, seizing her by the shoulder with his prosthetic like he did. He shook her and she screamed. They were hands all over the fly of Troy’s pants, grappling with each other and the zipper as if their lives depended on it.

Well, the thing was probably slippery. As much certainly went for Troy’s cock as it sprung free, glossy and red, his tip glinting with the quickness of his pulse. Also Tyreen’s piss, which had matted his bush into thick curls.

The woman took his hard-on in with her tongue in her teeth. Her thighs twitched as she tugged it towards her. Something on the seat went squish.

Troy was having none of that. He growled at his sister and spun her around to a few drops of spatter. Her pants ripped in his grasp as he made himself more room. Rather than thrust upwards, he jerked her down on his lap, jabbing into her that way.

The God Queen made a rather incredible noise, yelping but fading into a long and luscious  _ yes _ as her asshole flinched softly in the rainlight. She had flung herself down on her brother, her slick body slurping, twice before he grabbed her by the hips and squeezed.

“Easy, easy,” sing-songed Troy. “I spooge first, you don’t get to come on my dick.”

“So you’d eat your jizz out of me. Sounds like a party!”

“You know, I’d consider it, but that’s not actually what you want, right Sis? C’mon.” Snickering, he eased up.

Tyreen brought her hips down with another slosh. She did it somewhat slower though, though slower must have also meant deeper. 

There Troy went again. “Oh shit. I forgot how hot this is.” He ended up arching off of the seat to meet her, but only by a fraction of an inch. The sounds though of the two of them breathing and slamming and being. They almost could have drowned out the deluge. They were almost that wet.

Tyreen leaded forward, casting about to manipulate the angles of their bodies. It must have gotten her a pinch or an extra hard jab given her worldly little “fuck”, but she was squirming back down and Troy thrust off of the seat and maybe tried to call her a good girl, though the sentiment cut out into him groaning, pushing, biting his lip.

His eyes drifted closed as hers rolled back in her head and another splash managed its way off of the soaked seat. 

Mishka lit up again, fussing with her drink as she watched. She’d been serious about pretending to have a book, but it was just so mesmerizing: two siblings going at it in the rain, Tyreen’s tiny hips bouncing out of tune with the engine thrum. Troy’s whole body squeaking as he poured all of his concentration into his dick.

Mishka had to bring that up too. She was running low on piss jokes, but the weed compelled her to speak nonetheless. Besides, what she’d noticed in her stoned mind was also worth bringing up to in that stoned mind. “Aww. Are you actually giving her a little belly bulge with your cockhead?”

“It’s my super special only dude ever Siren technique,” Troy muttered between gasps. He didn’t sound like he had the wherewithal to smirk, but smirk he did, somewhere between moans.

“Shut  _ up _ !” Tyreen informed him. She also pulled her own hand up, giving the spot a feel and making an  _ oh shit _ sort of face being obliged, once more to hand onto herself-slash-her-soaking-brother.

“Oh, so cute,” cooed Mishka.

“It’s not cute! It’s hot.”

“Well, it’s cute from this angle. Did I have one when you screwed me?”

“Oh my God, not now! I’m trying to get off and you’re doing word…” The Technical bounced, out of time with Tyreen’s movements. This served to knock a splish of slick out of her and the thought right out of her head. She screamed more. “…things!”

Catass picked at his ear. 

Meanwhile, Troy managed to peer at Mishka, sticking his tongue out as he did. “Hold that thought.” It wasn’t in the next instant that he laid into Tyreen.

In perfect symmetry, they laid into  _ each other _ , swearing and sweating away there on the seat. If the scene hadn’t been absolutely drenched in piss, Mishka would have found it sublime.

Wait. Who was she kidding? She was that high she found everything sublime, only especially this. The uncanny arching and things that sounded maybe like  _ love _ purled between the squirt and the shouting. Troy’s load squished out of Tyreen and the woman told him  _ yes _ about it. There were spurts of sperm and girl spunk everywhere, dribbling away in the ambient soak as the Calypso Twins said each other’s names and came.

Tyreen peed a little more or squirted a hell of a lot. Maybe both. Maybe neither. 

“Very cool. Solid A. Would watch again,” said Mishka.

This time though, she went unheard. The twins fell into another kiss as Tyreen arched back against her brother. Most of this one ended up outside of their mouths, also wet in that forked God King’s Mouth kind of way. Speaking of Troy, he’d no sooner pulled out of it to catch his breath than he shoved Tyreen forward and said, “Welp, you used me as a cup. My turn now!”

“Troy! Don’t you fucking dare!”

They were still linked despite his softening cock and everything otherwise very much too late once again. If Troy’s sperm had spurted out of Tyreen, his piss made a shower. There was one satisfying gurgle as the tension in his spunk broke and the torrent began, gushing from Tyreen and all over both of their laps.

Tyreen screamed, wordlessly now, but with some degree of pleasure it seemed. It kind of looked like her vulva was twitching at the sensation. Had she gotten off on being used as a piss cup? Also cute (to Mishka, anyway.) She seized the backs of the seats, clinging there for dear life as the rain beat down, outside and inside of her and thoroughly ruining the inside of the Technical.

When it was over, she said: “Holy shit.”

And Troy said: “I’m out. Good time, Sis!”

And the poor priest who threw open the side door said: “Holy Vault Mother! It is I, your loyal priest Smegbullets. I am here to announce that your entourage… fuck and piss!” The last part perhaps being the only sensible part of his remark, as what else was a priest of two gods supposed to say upon confronting them and instead finding a lake of their piss? Which was in the back of a car. 

“Exactly,” concluded Troy. At least he sounded like he was trying to conclude something.

“I’m about to be sacrificed to my queen, aren’t I?”

“Yes!” Tyreen snapped. She pulled off of her brother to a disconcerting sucking sound somewhere in her vulva, which Smegbullets shortly got an eyeful of. “Stand right there a sec. I’m still… I’m still…”

Sighing, Mishka fumbled her blowgun out of her bra and put a dart in the man’s neck. “That should keep him down for an hour, if you’re done making ahegao faces by then. It’s Tuesday. I’ll wait.”

Both twins shrugged and flipped her off, damply, as the afternoon had gone.

**Author's Note:**

> You know, I had half a mind to start on about that Diana Wynne Jones essay about the unreality of bodily functions when travelling in a fantasy setting, but then I remembered this is a damned Troyreen piss fic. I actually never wrote watersports before. It was fun and I might do it again. So glad Dino talked me into this. Thanks, fam! And thanks for reading, everybody.


End file.
